Soto Just Can't Wait To Be King
by Bloodlustful
Summary: Diego's old pack have righted their wrongs while laying low and found a gem to set all else right. But Lone Gunslinger Vulture also wants that gem. So the five devise a hilarious way to throw him off their trail. "I Just Can't Wait To Be King" is spoofed.


Hey, since I associate Ice Age with The Lion King quite a bit, and since there have been Ice Age/Lion King crossover fics, I thought of a perfect idea. I thought I'd make it so that, with a change of heart and an idea of how to set things right, Diego's old pack, Soto, Oscar, Lenny and Zeke not only try to do that and make Soto become a monarch of a new sort, plus the truth about them and their heel-face-turns are revealed, but to get rid of their competition, Gunslinger, who wants to rise vultures like himself to a much higher level in the chain of command and food chain, they think up a plan with hilarious style in this mix of Ice Age and The Lion King I wrote. The song in this story, as the title suggests, is spun off from "I Just Can't Wait To Be King", from The Lion King, of course.

Please note two things, by the way. The first is that this story takes place after the events of Ice Age 3. That is to say, it's post Dawn Of The Dinosaurs. And the second is that I own none of the characters. They all belong to the Ice Age franchise.

Soto Just Can't Wait To Be King

Quite a bit of the unexpected was going on right now. And not just the fact that Roshan was now a teenager as opposed to the baby he had been, and so was Peaches. The two were the teens of, respectively, their tribe and herd. How so, you ask? For one thing, despite what was believed, Soto was NOT dead, and had just barely survived those icicles that fell into his side. He'd also found and reunited with Oscar and Lenny, and they'd helped yank Zeke out of that hole he got himself stuck in. They all found a place to hide and reside in after that and their recovery took a while, but it happened.

Then, after they all recovered from the less than fruitful scenario which got them this way and Soto was healed and back on his feet, the four of them thought long and hard about what the deaths of half their pack had made them become, in addition to all it resulted in, including the loss of Diego and their injuries, not to mention how it reminded them of the good sabers they were prior to the death of half their pack warping them. The same went for Diego, except he had the advantage of being helped to become a whole new self. So after thinking even longer as well as even harder than before, the four had a change of heart.

They decided they would right their wrongs and make themselves back to what the lot of them once were as much as possible. After doing quite a lot(including helping Buck, who they of course kept their statuses a secret from once they met him so he'd trust them, take down Rudy at long last), they'd all pretty much undone the damage they'd done during the time the four were insane and hellbent on revenge on Runar through Roshan as a baby.

Though they of course were not exactly as they were before half their pack was killed, they'd pretty much at last redeemed themselves and all that was left was letting it be known to their enemies, which of course included the aforementioned Diego. As well as Diego's herd, Roshan and his tribe, and it was clear both groups would have to know about it at the same time. Especially since all the long while of doing their deeds, it was only too obvious they made sure to make themselves scarce, lay low and keep as hidden and as low a profile as possible, and most especially if Diego and his herd and/or Roshan and his tribe were to be present at the time.

Ironically enough, some of what they did to undo the damage involved both the Ice Age herd and Roshan plus his tribe(such as seeing if there was danger and getting rid of it before the group in danger knew it was there or leaving food for them at just the right time whenever they couldn't find it but needed it, among other things and a whole lot). Of course, invariably did the four make sure they'd remain unseen during all this and take off the instant it was done, always finding a place to keep hidden, much like with all other good deeds they did to undo their time of crazy revenge's harm, but especially with ones having to do with the herd and/or the human tribe that they were keeping themselves a secret from more than any other individuals.

And for another thing happening that was in the unexpected category, Gunslinger and his fellow vultures were tired of being low class citizens who fed on the dead and were nothing but a bunch of feared, despised and unwelcome scavengers. They wanted more respect. They wanted to be much more high class. First class. They were sick of being second rate in the pecking order. They had, frankly, had quite enough of living off of dead animals and being a cleanup crew. The lot of them wanted more and they wanted to be noticed. Saluted. Praised. Be better than all of the others around them.

So, you've seen these two unexpected things taking place, and how it was with both the sabers and the vultures, and what both groups wanted. Soto, Oscar, Lenny and Zeke also, along with all their other intentions now that they'd fixed themselves with their change of heart and heel-face-turns, wanted to both reunite with Diego, albeit as new members of his herd, after revealing the truth to him and his herd, plus Roshan, Runar and all the tribe they were with, if it was at all possible.

Further, to ensure that all they meant to do for the greater good would stay as it was or get better, Soto also wanted to become a king of sorts, especially since he was quite good at being a leader. Always had been, before and after the deaths of half his pack warped his good self into an insane and revengeful version of himself, and after he recovered from those icicles he almost got killed by, righted his wrongs along with his pack and did all the leading he did up to now. So he felt becoming a king would both make everything for the better and restore him right back to the previous status he had as a good, likable saber alpha prior to half his pack's demise. It would also make him a little more than that, and he felt this would be the final repairing of the damage done and the final ensuring crap like before would never happened again.

At the same time, Gunslinger would go any length at all to ensure that himself and his vulture kind to become more than mere cleaners of the dead and scavengers, and, in fact, he wanted himself to become a king and them to become his subjects, and all vultures to go all the way to the top as royal elites of their world. His hunger for power was matched by that of all the other vultures he was with and they agreed to their ranks, since he and they felt it'd be for the best if they did it this way. They, like he, were also of the opinion it would work for the best in making it so they rose to a zenith on the food chain and on the power level of this world, plus the chain of command. They were just as all around sick and fed up of being on such a low level as they were intent on taking over everything and they all of their bottom feeding days to end. It was, if they had anything to say about it, to be the stop of just foraging for corpses and being the nadir of respectability. They wanted to go from the bottom to the top as soon as possible.

Most of all when it came to that which was unexpected but still going on, along with the different goals that Gunslinger and the four sabers had for all too different reasons, they were ironically both after the same thing…a special magic gem which was hidden in a dark, remote cave that almost no one ever went anywhere near. Said gem could literally do anything for any who found it, no matter who it was. They'd been told of it by chance when two idiot weasels who knew of that gem were seen whining about not being able to find it in that cave even though they went to it and entered it, unlike most individuals, and though neither Gunslinger nor the sabers made their presence known to the weasels, they got an excellent idea of how to set things as they meant to. Even though it came just as immediately for Gunslinger as it did the sabers, it was clear the sabers were the one with the more commendable goal for very obvious reasons. But both were just as excited about the crystal and what it could do for anyone who found it and were eager to find it like nothing else.

So the sabers knew this was their perfect chance and the only way to make what the lot of them wanted to be a reality into a reality. Any other way would fail and they knew it. However, this also meant competition, as, just by chance as finding out about the gem, Gunslinger came across the four sabers soon enough. And once both he and the four of them found out they wanted the same gem for their entirely different reasons, and had heard of it from the same pair of weasels even though the four sabers had been hidden and so had Gunslinger, the sabers argued with him about who should get it, and after a bit of this arguing, here's what could be heard being said between Gunslinger and Soto.

"Truth be told, fangs," Gunslinger said to Soto snidely, "I will be the one who gets that crystal and rises my status from a mere scavenger to a predator and outright ruler before you or any of your pack can even think about finding it, and the gem will see to it we vultures go much higher up in the pecking order and are not commoners or dead body cleaners, but elites and the ones who don't follow the rules, but make them!" Then he flew down from the air and said face to face with Soto: "And you sabers will have to stay far away from everyone forever, with all of your changes and the truth about you never being revealed to anyone, least of all Diego and his herd or Roshan and his tribe!"

Soto, as Gunslinger began laughing boastfully, whispered to the other three: "Hey, I have an idea of how we can lose laughing boy here…" They looked at him closely and he whispered his idea to them, then they nodded and turned back to Gunslinger along with Soto quickly. Then Gunslinger finished laughing, cocked his head to face Soto once more and added: "And not only will you never become the king that you mean to be, Soto, but even if you did, and even if the herd and the tribe in question did find out of your change and goals and accepted that of you and your pack, you'd be a very inept, pathetic king indeed!" "HA! Not the way we see it!" Soto responded cockily. The other three sabers gave Gunslinger a sharp, cocky smile and look, and Soto did the same.

After doing that, Soto went right on towards Gunslinger, causing him to back away on foot, and then he also broke right into song, much to Gunslinger's alarm. "I'm gonna be a mighty king! Adversaries beware!" Gunslinger said: "Well, I've never seen a saber king with quite so little hair!" as he plucked out a piece of Soto's facial fur with his beak. Soto ignored the quick, sharp pain from this and sang on: "I'm gonna be a ruler like no one has seen before! All my subjects look up to me! Foes cower at my ROAR!"

He roared and sent Gunslinger flying into a wall, then Gunslinger snapped: "I'd say so far you're quite an uninspiring thing!" Soto sang out: "Oh, I just can't wait to be king!" Gunslinger spat at him: "If you think you're going to get that crystal before me…" But then he flew into the middle of the four sabers, who'd formed a circle to be ready for when he swooped at them. Then Oscar pinned him down hard. "WHOOOOALLLLFFF!" Gunslinger yelped.

Soto sang: "No more being hated!" "You're all gonna get it…" Gunslinger yelled, but Oscar simply sang: "Won't be misunderstood!" "You'll understand what dead meat you are as soon as…" began Gunslinger, but Lenny cut him off by singing: "Our status has risen!" After a screech from Gunslinger of: "I'm the one who'll rise…" Zeke just sang: "And once more we are good!" The four sabers ran off and Gunslinger shouted: "I'LL KILL YOU FOUR GOOD FOR GOOD!" But they ignored him as they dashed into the more open area, far closer to the right path for finding the gem they were competing with Gunslinger for.

Soto sang out subsequently: "Free to run around all day!" while he, Oscar, Lenny and Zeke ran in just the right direction to further be on the right track for the crystal now and those three other sabers were just behind him and alongside each other. Gunslinger rolled his eyes and then said: "That's nothing compared to flying!" as he flew after them. Soto an instant later sang: "Free to do it all my way!"

When Gunslinger caught up to the saber pack, he sang: "I think it's high time now that I see to it you depart!" to them, but then Soto smacked Gunslinger into a tree and he sang: "Kings don't take orders from dumb vultures when their reign starts!"

Gunslinger then squawked: "If this is where this age and world is headed, count me out! Out of this place, out of existence! I wouldn't hang about!" He suddenly saw he was about to be pulled on down into the lava pool, so he yelped and swiftly started flying far away from it. Then he'd sing out: "These sabers are getting severely out of wing!" And Soto sang once more: "Oh, I just can't wait to be king!" as he, Oscar, Lenny and Zeke dashed further for where the crystal the lot of them sought was, much to the alarm of mammals and dinosaurs alike.

They kept making all sorts of fluent, amazing movements and shocked everyone present, including the Buck they'd seen earlier, though neither the main herd nor the tribe were anywhere to be seen, and Gunslinger was unable to fully keep up with any of them, though don't think he didn't try! Soon enough, Zeke took a jump to a high ledge and sang: "Everybody look left!" All of everyone ran to the left and accidentally ran into Gunslinger in the process, knocking him out of the sky and down on to the ground in the process. Then the next instant had Lenny sing out: "Everybody look right!" as he hopped onto an even higher ledge.

The other animals now ran to the right and ran Gunslinger over, battering and trampling him badly. Oscar jumped to one ledge and sang: "Everywhere you look we're…" Soto sang the last line as he jumped up onto the highest ledge of all: "…STANDING IN THE SPOTLIGHT!" Gunslinger's next action was to squeeze his way back to his feet and go: "NO…WAY…!"

But two mammoths and two rhinos fell back and got Gunslinger trapped, helpless and hurt worse now. Then all animals around the sabers sang in unison: "Let every beast just go for broke and sing! Let's hear it from land, sea and on the wing! It's gonna be king Soto's finest fling!" Soto then sang out along with Oscar, Lenny and Zeke in unison: "Oh, I just can't wait to be king!" The other animals except for Gunslinger sang in unison: "Oh, he just can't wait to be king!" Soto then sang out on his own: "Oh, I just can't wait…" "Just can't wait…" all of the other animals sang, and then Soto, Oscar, Lenny, Zeke and everyone present except Gunslinger sang: "…TO BE KING!"

In the next instant, all of the other creatures were clumsily tripping over each other, even though none were killed or injured in any way, and Gunslinger was fallen upon by all of them. It was pretty clear he was all but dead now, and the four sabers took off in the direction to the gem they wanted like he did, which doing all this had made it so they had easy access to said direction and Gunslinger was out of their hair. Err, fur.

After the mammoth sitting on Gunslinger got up, he was a mess and thought: "Dammit! I can't move! It'll be some time before the pain even stops, let alone before I recover! Wait! Those four sabers! They're gone! NO! It can't be! They set me up like this so they'd get the crystal and make it work for them before I could! I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY BEAT ME! TRICKED ME IN THE WORST WAY, AND WHEN I MEANT TO TRICK THEM, NO LESS! WILL I EVER BE ANYTHING MORE THAN A MERE VULTURE?"

As Gunslinger cursed at how he'd been bested, Soto, Oscar, Lenny and Zeke were able to find the very cave which they sought. After going into it, they celebrated their victory for a little bit. "We did it! We threw that crummy bird off our trail!" said Zeke joyfully. "Indeed, we did, and you know what the best part is?" asked Soto. Then Oscar put in: "We managed to find the cave where our needed gem is in the process!" "I can smell it, too!" Lenny said. "If only I could see where the smell is coming from!"

"I can smell it, as well, and I can easily decipher where it is…" Soto said, "…so don't you worry. We're going to get our paws on it long before…AH, there it is!" Indeed, Soto was able to uncover the gem. He got it out from under the rock it was buried in and pulled it out. A second later, he said: "Okay, you three…put your paws onto my own while I hold this gem as I do. This will be the perfect way for it to do its work in exactly the way we mean it to for all four of us." "All will be as it was before." Oscar said. "And then some." Lenny added. "And won't all of the herd we were once enemies with, especially Diego, and including its new members, be full on alarmed to see different sides to us, what we once were and are now, facts they didn't know, the change of heart we've had AND your new status as king, Soto?"

"Indeed, they will, but said alarm will be of a good sort, and of a high magnitude, plus it will only be favorable for us and them alike from there when they recover from it and realize it's best they accept this as it is, since it's reality, so it only makes this better." Soto replied. The gem got to work with its magic now and the four sabers knew well that it was going to be going uphill from here. They'd beaten Gunslinger, they'd completed their change and redemption, they'd got what they sought and they'd earned all the crystal was about to do for them, up to and including the reuniting with Diego, Soto becoming a king and their being new members of the herd in the near future, plus the pardon they'd get that would go with it.

THE END

So, how did you like it? Please rate and review, everybody!


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